


Look In My Heart

by bertie



Series: avengers OT8 [2]
Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Iron Man - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Thor - All Media Types
Genre: Multi, OT6, OT8, Polyamory
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-22
Updated: 2016-02-11
Packaged: 2018-04-21 01:17:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 14,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4809383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bertie/pseuds/bertie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky never thought he would have seven other people on his side after the Winter Soldier, much less seven other people who make sure he's eating enough and want to give him good morning kisses.</p><p>He's learning to enjoy it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just a heads up that future chapters will include sexual content (100% consensual, polyamorous sex) and if that's not your cup of tea i will put a warning before each chapter so you'll know not to read it
> 
> each of these chapters essentially stand-alone and just exist in the same universe but are not directly linked so skipping chapters won't mess you up

Steve’s got Sam snuggled up to his chest, breathing deep and even as he sleeps, and Clint against his back, fingers loosely curled into his t-shirt. He can hear Bucky whimpering quietly, but then Thor is speaking lowly to him until he stops, sighing before his breathing smooths over. He knows Natasha is pressed flush against Clint’s back, and Bruce is using Tony as a makeshift pillow, having abandoned his actual pillow.

Steve listens to his team sleep, mumbling and snoring and shifting. He’s still not sure how Tony found a bed big enough for eight of them, but he’s glad they have it. He kisses Sam lightly on the forehead and closes his eyes, letting the sounds of his lovers lull him to sleep.

He wakes when someone kicks him in the bladder and he groans, reaching out. Someone catches his hand and squeezes it.

“Sorry,” Natasha says. “I was trapped in the sheet.”

“S’okay,” he slurs, thinking about going back to sleep. “Where’s everyone?”

Natasha’s voice is almost inaudibly soft, but he catches each word. “Bucky is still sleeping, Clint is in the shower, and you’re shoving Sam off the bed.”

Steve reaches back for Sam and scoots forward, feeling Sam follow.

“Thanks,” comes a drowsy mumble, and he smiles when he feels Sam burrow his face between his shoulder blades.

He stays for a while longer, waking up slowly—his favorite kind of morning. Sam dozes against his back, and Natasha rolls onto her stomach to watch Bucky sleep. Steve can see his hair fanned out across his pillow, tangled and messy from a night of tossing and turning. He wonders if Thor got any sleep after being next to him all night, but he’s sure he doesn’t mind either way. Thor took very quickly to Bucky’s arrival, taking it upon himself to protect Bucky at all costs. After it was obvious Thor cared about him, Bucky opened up and spent a lot of his time asking Thor for stories about a world that wasn’t directly connected to his past.

“You’re so warm,” Sam says, wrapping his arm around Steve’s middle and pressing flush against his back.

“Good morning, baby bird,” Steve replies, resting his hand over Sam’s.

“I thought we agreed you wouldn’t call me that.” His tone is less than pleased.

Steve grins. “I would never agree to such a thing.”

Sam huffs and hugs him tighter. Steve rubs his arm and listens to Clint singing in the shower. Bucky groans on the other side of the bed, his face no doubt smashed into a pillow. Natasha reaches out and smooths her hand down his back.

“You okay?” She asks, light and easy.

Bucky makes an affirmative noise. Steve’s glad this is a better morning than some have been. Some days it’s hard to coax Bucky out of bed, but they have never abandoned him there. Sometimes two, three, seven of them will stay and bring food and drinks and card games or movies. But today he rolls into a sitting position, his wild hair sticking out in all directions. Steve smiles when he yawns, his nose wrinkling exactly how it did when he was young.

“Morning, sunshine,” he says, his whole body going warm when Bucky turns to him, smiling sweetly.

“Morning, stud muffin.”

Everyone laughs, even Clint in the bathroom. He emerges a moment later with a towel wrapped around his waist and doles out kisses. He’s one of the most tactile of the group, which was a pleasant surprise, and he always grabs the chance to kiss them. He tickles Sam until he smiles at him and leaves a wet kiss on his cheek. He’s so gentle with Bucky, cupping his cheeks and kissing him softly, and Bucky smiles more because of it.

They slowly climb out of bed and brush their teeth or use the bathroom. Steve makes the bed, but he’s relaxed his usual military standards so it’s not so tight and uninviting. Natasha puts her hair up in a bun beside Bucky, who is forcing a brush through his own hair. He’s coming around to others touching his hair and it’s obvious when he lets Natasha get out one difficult tangle.

Thor is making breakfast in the kitchen when they emerge from the bedroom, Tony and Bruce sitting at their big kitchen table. When Steve passes him, Thor reaches out and grabs him around the waist, pulling him in close. Steve goes willingly, smiling up at him with a hand on his chest.

“Good morning,” he says, and Thor beams, leaning down to kiss him softly. Everyone knows that Steve always prefers chaste kisses, and they never force their tongues into his mouth unless he asks.

“Good morning, my love,” Thor rumbles, kissing him once more on the cheek. He doesn’t let Steve go until he leans up to also kiss him on the cheek.

Bruce has Bucky’s right hand in his, rubbing his thumbs over his palm, and Bucky looks molten in the chair beside him. Clint is perched on Tony’s lap, looking at new arrow designs on the tablet in his hands. Sam is peeking around his elbow and Clint shifts so he can see too.

Natasha lines up coffee cups on the counter and drops a tea steeper into one of them before reaching for the coffee pot. Thor plates up pancakes and Steve dishes them out to everyone along with bacon that had already been fried up. There is a dish of cut up fruit in the refrigerator and he hands it off to Bruce to set on the table

Natasha passes out the mugs, tea for Bruce and coffee for everyone else. Steve sits between Tony and Bucky, leaning over to give Tony a kiss on the cheek. Tony smiles, genuine and warm, at him and Steve feels his stomach flutter. Thor settles at the head of the table beside Bruce, and Sam takes the spot on his other side. Natasha takes the last seat between Sam and Clint, who is trying to steal food from Tony’s plate.

Bucky scoops fruit onto his plate, careful, measured spoonfuls. Steve watches him out of the corner of his eye, a thrill going through him when Bucky snatches a stray banana and puts it straight in his mouth.

“These bananas don’t taste like the ones we had, Stevie,” he says. “They’re not bad, though.”

Steve laughs. “I thought the same thing when I tried them the first time. You get used to them.”

As they eat, some of them converse and others sit quietly. Bucky yawns occasionally and rubs his eyes, but he laughs when Clint whines about Thor eating all the strawberries until Natasha scrapes hers off onto his plate. Thor just grins and spears a slice of pancake with his fork.

It’s a rare and well-deserved day off for all of them. Their recent missions—solo and otherwise—have been difficult and taxing. Fury seems to be testing them, pushing their limits, and it is taking its toll. Nothing sounds better than taking some time to rest and get close again.

Everyone finishes eating and rinses their dishes, moving toward the huge living room. Natasha sits on the end of the sofa and Thor settles on the floor in front of her. She runs her fingers back through his hair and he closes his eyes, letting his head fall back with her hands. She repeats the movement a few more times; occasionally placing soft kisses on his forehead. He smiles and cracks an eye open to look up at her. She grins and places her small hands on each side of his face, leaning over to kiss him lightly on the mouth. She laughs when he tries to coax her lips open and she sits back, tapping his chin with a smirk.

“Sit up,” she says, and he does, straightening his back against the couch.

She pulls his hair back over his shoulders and focuses on how it feels in her hands. It’s soft and thick and she can feel the heat radiate from the nape of his neck. She starts at the front and gathers a small bit of hair, splits it into three and begins braiding. She adds hair as she goes from each side and secures it with an elastic band when she finishes. Thor tilts his head back and wrinkles his nose, shakes his head.

“Didn’t think so,” Natasha says, but it’s with a smile, and she takes the elastic out.

She runs her fingers through the braid to unwind it and Thor shakes his hair out when she’s done. She tries again, splitting his hair into two sections. She takes a small piece from the right side and brings it to the middle, adding it to the left section. She does the same with the left, and continues until she ties his hair off with the elastic. Thor runs his hand down the braid and looks at her over his shoulder.

“What is this called?” He asks, feeling it carefully.

“A fishtail braid,” she answers.

Thor laughs and tugs the elastic off. “Could I have something simpler?”

“Sure.” Natasha leans down to kiss his cheek.

She undoes the braid and starts gathering all of his hair at the crown of his head. She pulls the elastic down over it and twists his hair into a bun. He reaches up and touches it and smiles back at her.

“You’ll have to show me how to do this,” he says, and she bends down to kiss him again.

“Of course.”

Across the room, Sam is in one of the overstuffed recliners with Bucky curled up on his lap. He’s dozing, face tucked against Sam’s neck, and Sam is content to hold him all day. Steve comes over with another cup of coffee for Sam and smiles at them.

“Is he asleep or just resting?” Steve asks.

“He’s asleep,” Sam says, low and quiet. He’s smiling, delighted at being chosen to watch over Bucky while he sleeps.

“He slept nearly nine hours last night, but it probably wasn’t restful,” Steve remarks, retrieving a blanket from the rack against the wall.

“I know you worry,” Sam murmurs, looking up at him as he drapes the blanket over them. “He’s getting better, Steve.”

Steve rests his hand on Sam’s cheek, and says quietly, “I know.”

When Bucky sought them out and he was reassured the Tower was safe, he slept nearly sixteen hours every day. Bruce and Tony studied grainy footage and moth-eaten files for weeks and even convinced Bucky to withstand a single MRI. Their conclusion was that Bucky’s brain was healing from the onslaught of torture he was subjected to over the years. Bucky teased that he was trying to test out all the beds in the Tower because the beds in the Depression were shit. Steve had laughed until his sides hurt, but then attested that yes, the beds really were better in the future.

Steve leans down and kisses Sam, pouring everything into the kiss. “Let me know if he gets—”

“I will, baby,” Sam soothes, and Steve kisses him again for it.

“Come over here with me,” Tony says, sneaking his hand into Steve’s.

Steve goes willingly and he smiles when Tony sprawls out on the chaise lounge. He settles down next to him and leans over him to kiss him, licking determinedly into his mouth. Tony melts into him, reaching up to touch Steve’s face lightly. He makes soft, pleading sounds, tucking one of his legs over Steve’s. Steve smiles into the kiss and settles a hand on Tony’s hip, pushing up his t-shirt to touch the skin there.

By the big, floor-to-ceiling windows, Clint is on a yoga mat. His hands are planted firmly on one end and his feet on the other. His body makes a sharp “V” over top of the mat and Bruce lays his hands carefully on Clint’s hips.

“You know the rules,” he says, muted and firm.

“I do,” Clint responds, spreading his fingers on the mat.

Bruce moves slowly, pulling Clint’s hips back in inches. He watches Clint’s back begin to bow down toward the mat and he stops for a moment.

“More?” He asks.

Clint blows out a steady breath. “No.”

Bruce smooths his hand across Clint’s lower back and offers him some praise. “You’re doing well.”

He sees Clint drop his head between his shoulders and he smirks, rubbing little circles into his hips. He moves Clint gently through a series of poses and encourages him with words and touch. By the end of it, Clint is loose and happy, smiling up at Bruce from the mat. Bruce, kneeling beside him, smooths his hair back and kisses him on the forehead.

A quiet, pained noise breaks the comfortable silence and everyone is on alert. Steve makes to stand, but Tony holds his arm as Sam puts his hand up, asking him to wait. Sam tucks Bucky’s hair behind his ear, smoothing it down as he murmurs nonsense.

“We’re all right here with you, baby,” Sam tells him, kissing his temple. “You’re safe. I’ve got you.”

Bucky wakes with a gasping cry, fingers curled into the shoulder of Sam’s t-shirt. Sam holds him tight, ready for any response, but Bucky just breathes heavily, flattening his hand against Sam’s neck, feeling for his pulse.

“I’m right here,” Sam assures him, covering his hand with his own.

His recovery from the nightmare is markedly better than previous. He kisses Sam’s cheek and nuzzles against his jaw, shaking only slightly.

“I’m okay,” he says, fingers still pressed against Sam’s throat. “I’m okay.”

“We know you are,” Sam agrees, rubbing his thumb over Bucky’s hand. “You’re strong.”

Sam glances over to see Steve hovering by the couch with a glass of water, shifting his weight from foot to foot. He smooths Bucky’s hair again.

“Can Steve come check on you? He’s got a glass of water for you too,” Sam asks, and finally Bucky’s fingers ease off his neck.

Bucky nods and they carefully shift into a more upright position. Steve approaches them slowly, and Bucky gives him a shaky smile. He accepts the glass and drinks it down greedily.

“Do you want to go down to the gym? Get a change of scenery?” Steve asks him, itching to touch Bucky and settling on touching Sam’s shoulder.

Bucky shakes his head, dragging the blanket up to his shoulders.

Steve nods, wringing his hands. Thor stands and comes over to them slowly, settling a hand on Steve’s hip to draw him away.

“He’s in good hands, Steve, come sit with me,” he coaxes, and Steve goes.

They sink down onto the couch and Thor strokes his fingers through Steve’s hair, cupping his hand around the back of his neck. Steve tucks himself against Thor’s side, only relaxing when Thor settles his arm around his waist and holds him close. He watches Bucky and Sam, occasionally flickering his eyes away so he doesn’t make Bucky nervous. Bucky listens as Sam murmurs to him, his blue eyes blinking slowly.

“I know you are worried, my love, but James is in good hands. Allow yourself to relax for now; he will come to you when he is ready,” Thor says, soft and low in Steve’s ear.

“I know.” He lets Thor rub his back, soothing him somewhat.

He distracts himself with Thor’s hand, lacing their fingers together and marveling at the differences in size and skin tone. Thor’s skin is dark and sun-kissed, making Steve’s pale fingers stand out in sharp relief.

“Steve.”

His head snaps up and Bucky is standing between the armchair and couch, wringing his hands and watching him tentatively.

“Come here, Buck,” he says, reaching for him.

Bucky curls himself against Steve, nuzzling his jaw and kissing the soft spot behind his ear. Thor makes to move, slowly pulling his arm from around Steve.

“Stay,” Bucky asks quickly. “Please. If you want.”

Thor smiles and smooths his hand down Bucky’s hair. “Of course.”

Steve leans against Thor’s chest, holding Bucky close and kissing the top of his head.

“I love you,” he murmurs, and when Bucky looks up at him, he leaves a soft kiss on his eyelid.

“I love you,” Bucky replies, voice soft and rough. “Always.”


	2. Chapter 2

When they all got together, Tony designed an entire floor with one huge room for them all and one room for each of them. Most of the time the individual rooms are unused, but on nights when there aren’t enough bodies to keep the big bed warm the remaining Avengers will sleep in their rooms. Tony is delighted when Bucky nudges his bedroom door open one night. He’s got a pillow tucked to his chest and looks so young with his hair pulled back.

“Can I stay with you?” He asks, and Tony grins despite himself.

“Course.” He moves his tablet off the empty side of his bed and Bucky crawls up beside him.

“Clint and Thor stole Steve away,” Bucky complains, but he doesn’t sound too upset. “Nat and Sam are on a mission and Bruce is still in his lab.”

He flops down on his side, tucking his left hand beneath his pillow, and relaxes almost immediately. It makes Tony’s chest tighten because it takes a lot to get Bucky to relax around anyone other than Steve.

“Are you coming down here or not?” Comes a mumbled grouse and Tony laughs.

“Grumpy old man,” Tony teases, hoping he didn’t cross a line.

But Bucky snorts and his nose scrunches up in a way that can only be described as adorable. Tony stretches out beside him and sighs.

“Tell me something about yourself,” he says, searching Bucky’s bright blue eyes.

“I love strawberries,” Bucky says. “I like to read nonfiction novels, I like to go to the movies, and I know how to sew.”

“You’re an interesting man.” Tony smiles and scoots closer.

Bucky shrugs one shoulder. “I just learned those things when I came back to Steve.”

“Doesn’t matter when you learn them as long as you know who you are.  Are you still having flashbacks?”

He shakes his head. “Not recently. Nightmares are still an issue though.”

Tony reaches out carefully to stroke his hair. “I’m positive we all have that issue.”

Bucky hides his face in his pillow, but he curls closer to Tony and makes a content sound when he puts his arm around him.

Tony kisses his head. “Go to sleep, honey.”

He smiles when he feels a tentative kiss on his collarbone and lets Bucky’s slow, even breaths lull him to sleep.

…

Tony wakes to distraught noises and jerking movements in the bed beside him. He sits up and is careful when he reaches to move hair out of Bucky’s face.

“Hey, Bucky, come on. Wake up.” He shakes his shoulder gently, but Bucky cries out, still asleep. “Bucky, it’s just a dream. Wake up, baby.”

Bucky curls his hands into the sheets and threads pop ominously. Tony touches his flushed cheeks and they’re burning up.

“JARVIS, where is Steve?” he asks frantically, scrambling out of bed.

“Steve is in the third room on the left, sir.”

He dashes down the hallway and throws the door open. Clint is immediately on his feet, but relaxes when he recognizes there is no threat.

“What’s going on?”

Tony ignores him and shakes Steve roughly. “Steve, you gotta wake up.”

“Wha’s wrong?” He slurs, lifting his head from Thor’s arm.

“Bucky’s having a nightmare and he won’t come out of it. I’m afraid he’ll lash out if I try to wake him up.” Tony feels actual fear settle in his chest because he can’t help Bucky and he hates feeling useless.

Steve throws the covers off and tears down the hall faster than Tony can blink. He follows but stays outside the doorway so Bucky won’t feel trapped. Steve is leaning over him, smoothing a hand down his chest and talking to him softly.

“Hey, Bucky. Can you wake up for me, sweetheart?”

Bucky whimpers and sweat beading on his forehead dampens his hair. He twitches and curls away as if something is stabbing him and he thrashes his head side to side. Steve cups a hand under his head, holding it steady.

“Shhh, you’re okay. I’m here, doll. I’ve got you now.” He rubs his thumb over Bucky’s cheek. “Open your eyes, Bucky, come on.”

Steve holds him still, murmuring nonsense and calling his name. Tony feels an arm wrap around his waist and Thor tugs him close. He leans against his chest and watches closely. Steve tucks hair behind Bucky’s ear and sits down beside him. As soon as Steve leans down to kiss his forehead, Bucky surges up and grabs Steve around the neck. He goes still in Bucky’s grasp, waiting for him to wake fully.

“Steve.”

Bucky’s voice is small and wrecked and tears leave shiny trails down his cheeks. He releases Steve immediately and curls in on himself.

“It’s okay, Buck. It was just a dream.” Steve gathers him up in his arms and tucks him under his chin, threading his fingers through tangled hair.

“Did I hurt anyone?” Bucky asks, shaking in Steve’s arms.

“No, you didn’t hurt anyone. Everyone’s safe.” He kisses Bucky on the head. “Do you want something to drink?”

Bucky shakes his head but Steve glances over and Clint nods, heading toward the kitchen. Steve gathers up the blanket from the bed and wraps Bucky in it, holding him close as he begins to relax. Bucky glances over and Tony smiles sympathetically. When tears collect on his lashes and his breath catches, Tony goes to him.

“What’s the matter, honey? Why’re you upset?”

He sniffles and coughs out a sob. “I couldn’t even stay the night with you without ruining everything.”

Steve leans his forehead against Bucky’s temple, looking tired and very old.

Tony shakes his head. “You didn’t ruin anything. No one’s mad at you.”

Bucky hides his face in Steve’s neck, still shaking and making pitiful noises as the last dregs of his nightmare linger. Steve strokes his hair and looks up at them.

“Can one of you wet a washcloth?”

Thor nods, slipping into the en suite. The water runs for a moment and he returns, keeping an arms-length away as he hands the cloth to Steve.

“Look up at me, Bucky,” Steve calls, soothing and gentle.

He doesn’t at first, but tilts a cheek up so Steve can wipe the salt away and cool him off. Then, slowly, he tips his head back and closes his eyes as Steve presses the cloth against his cheeks.

“Hey,” Clint says and knocks on the doorjamb. “Can I come in?”

“Yeah.” Steve nods, doesn’t take his eyes off of Bucky. “Can you drink some water, Buck?”

Bucky gives a nod and even takes the glass from Clint. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” Clint retreats to stand beside Thor at the foot of the bed.

Even Bucky’s left hand shakes but Steve helps steady him so he can sip from the glass. He looks a little better and can even smile when Thor shifts impatiently.

“C’mere.” He lifts his arms and Thor stoops to hug him close, hands gentle and strong on his back. “Sorry I woke you up.”

Thor leans back and smooths Bucky’s hair. “Do not apologize, my love. You are far more important.”

He kisses Bucky carefully on the cheek, cupping his big hands around Bucky’s jaw to look at him. “I love you, James.”

Bucky blinks slowly and smiles. “I love you too.”

It’s a big step. He had previous withheld the phrase from anyone but Steve and had hardly been able to say the words aloud. Thor grins and kisses Bucky gently, rubbing his thumbs over flushed cheeks.

“You are very brave,” Thor murmurs, and all the tension just bleeds out of Bucky.

“You all make me brave,” he says and Steve smiles against his shoulder.

Clint bullies his way into the fray, planting a kiss on Bucky’s cheek and making him laugh. It’s a delightful turn of events and eventually everyone piles into the bed, snuggling up to try and sleep.

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***this chapter is solely made up of a discussion of sexual content***
> 
> you will not be lost if you skip this chapter

Bucky’s staring down at his lap, embarrassed, but he’s desperate to have this conversation with someone. Sam is sitting across from him on the bed, waiting patiently with his hand within reaching distance if Bucky wants it. Eventually, Bucky can get the words out.

“I want to have sex again,” he says, but he’s wringing the fingers of his left hand. “I want to _try_ to have sex again. I’m starting to feel left out when everyone goes off to the bedroom when before I was fine. I want to feel close to all of you and I want to feel good again. I was perfectly happy climbing into bed after you were done, but now the cuddling isn’t fulfilling and I want to know what it’s like to make someone feel pleasure again. But I’m scared, Sam. I don’t know how I’ll react if something goes wrong and I don’t want to hurt anyone.”

He’s trembling, tears clinging to his lashes, and Sam reaches out to wipe them away.

“Oh, Bucky,” he says, stroking his hair behind his ear. “I don’t think you’d hurt anyone, but we won’t go into it unprepared. We can set boundaries and limits and make sure everyone knows what you want and don’t want. We can take it slow and always make sure you’re comfortable. And you get to choose who is around. None of us want you to be stressed when you’re trying to enjoy yourself.”

Bucky sniffles and hiccups on a sob. “I just want to feel good.”

“I know and we’re going to help you. Come here.”

He crawls onto Sam’s lap, wrapping his legs around his waist. He says nothing, just bumping their noses together as his breath continues to hitch slightly. Sam holds him lightly, rubbing his hands up and down his back. Bucky cups his hand around the base of Sam’s skull, breathing with him and focusing on his touch. The words bubble up and he lets them come without worrying.

“Sam,” he sighs, lips trembling. “I want you—all of you—so badly. I want Steve to spoon up behind me like we used to do in our tiny bed and whisper to me and hold me. I want you to make me laugh even while you’ve got my legs over his shoulders. I want Natasha to ride me and take me apart at the seams. I want Clint to pepper me in kisses and eat me out until I’m screaming. I want Thor to cover me up with his entire body and make me feel safe and protected while he takes me. I want Tony to run his calloused hands up and down my back while he fucks me from behind.

"I want to sit on Bruce’s lap and hold onto his curls and stare into his eyes because he’s so fucking _perfect_. I want all of you at the same time, touching me and taking me and kissing me, so I don’t know where I end and someone else begins. I want to know what it’s like to give pleasure and get pleasure in return. I want my skin to sing and I want my muscles to ache from something other than straining them trying to get the demons out of my head. I want to forget my name but know exactly what it feels to have someone wrapped around me.”

Sam kisses him lightly on the cheek. “We’re here for you, baby, and we’ll take care of you.”

Bucky presses their foreheads together, eyes squeezed shut. His breathing catches occasionally, even when he tilts his head and kisses Sam. He makes a sad, wounded noise before pulling away and burying his face in Sam’s neck.

“God, I love you so much,” he gasps, curling his fingers against Sam’s hair. “You’re too good for me. I—”

“Hey, Bucky, we talked about that.” Sam’s voice is low and soothing, his hands gentle as he strokes up and down Bucky’s spine. “Everyone is on equal ground here. You’re just as worthy to be in this relationship as any of us. Besides, we’d all be miserable without you.”

Bucky smiles against Sam’s throat, leaving little kisses there.

“You’re Steve’s best guy, and I’ll admit that I’m a little in love with your smile and how snuggly you get in the morning. Thor just adores you, and Tony loves you in his own weird kind of way. Even if he doesn’t know how to say it. Natasha isn’t the most affectionate, but you know she loves you when she sticks around for all the bad stuff. Clint could probably write an entire book on how great he thinks you are, and Bruce loves you straight up, no questions asked. You’re so important to all of us, and we’ll help you get comfortable about having sex because we all love you more than anything and we want you to be happy.”

The tears are back again, but now he’s smiling and kissing Sam and holding him impossibly close. He presses every inch of them together, desperate for contact. Sam kisses him back, stupidly experienced and easily making Bucky gasp into his mouth.

“If that’s what I have to look forward to, just call everyone in now,” Bucky says.

Sam laughs, and Bucky definitely falls deeper in love with him. He cups his hands around Bucky’s cheeks and kisses him on the nose.

“You’re something else,” he teases, and Bucky kisses him again.


	4. Chapter 4

When a call comes in, Bucky usually stays behind to get first aid kits and food prepared for when everyone returns. This time, with Clint nursing a sprained ankle, he’s needed. He’s fought beside them a few times, but for very minor things where his unique expertise wasn’t necessary.

This time he’s just there to protect Steve’s six and make sure he can get the necessary intel while the rest of the team fights off the newest enemy. When Steve’s shield isn’t enough to break a particular lock, Bucky simply tears it off the door. Steve smirks at him.

“Thanks.”

Bucky kicks the door open. “My pleasure.”

He covers Steve as he enters the building, picking off a few guys coming after them. When they have the information they need, Steve asks for an update from the team.

_Natasha’s hurt; Tony is getting her to the jet. We need someone else for the lullaby._

“Buck, can you get to Bruce while the rest of us finish up?” Steve asks.

Bucky stills. “Me?”

“Yeah, come on, Hulk likes you. If you run into trouble, Tony can come help.”

Bucky has only interacted with Hulk a handful of times, but never for the lullaby. He would really rather _not_ try out the lullaby for the firs time in the field, but Natasha can’t do it and Bruce needs to be Bruce again for them to go home.

“Okay. I’ll do it.”

Steve grins. “Great. You’ll do fine.”

He jogs off in the direction of the rest of the team and Bucky swallows nervously. He sets off toward Hulk’s location and tries not to panic. When he sees Hulk, he hopes desperately that he stays as calm as he is now.

“Hey, big guy,” he starts off, and Hulk huffs at him. “Yeah, I know. I’m not Nat, but we gotta get going. Fight’s over, and you did really well.”

He can’t remember what Nat always says to him, but hopes he’s not fucking the whole thing up too badly.

“Come on,” he says, soft and coaxing.

He holds his right hand up, keeping it relaxed. Hulk shuffles toward him, still grunting and growling occasionally. He backs away for a moment but Bucky stays still, waiting patiently. Then, Hulk holds his hand up to Bucky’s, barely touching their fingers together. Bucky carefully moves his hand like he’s seen Natasha do, silently asking Hulk to rest his hand in Bucky’s.

After a moment, Hulk does. Bucky releases the breath he didn’t realize he was holding and smiles. He reaches out and touches his fingertip to the inside of Hulk’s forearm, dragging it down to his palm. When he traces it up Hulk’s middle finger, Hulk grumbles and shakes his head. He stumbles away, already changing back, and Bucky lets himself relax.

Once everyone is loaded on the jet, Bucky sinks down onto a seat, feeling stiffness creep up his back.

“How’d the lullaby go, Steve?” Natasha asks.

Steve grins. “Bucky did it this time.”

Eyebrows raise all around.

“Really?” Sam asks.

“Mm-hm.” Steve nods. “He did great.”

“How was it?” Tony asks, and Bucky shrugs.

“It was fine. No problems.”

“Come on, Buck, this was the first time you’ve ever done it and I’ve never seen Bruce come back so quickly,” Steve says, knocking Bucky’s shoulder.

Bucky just shrugs, smiling shyly. He catches Bruce’s eyes from across the plane and Bruce gives him a fleeting smile.

Natasha’s injury is minor and she’ll be back in rotation in less than a week.

Once they’re all back on their shared floor, Bucky showers and collapses on their big bed, barely able to crawl up into the middle.

“Can I touch you?” Sam asks, and Bucky turns his face out to look at him.

He nods and then Sam’s warm hands settle on his back, rubbing out some of the tension settling there. It feels incredible and Bucky can’t keep in his groan when he works out a knot in his lower back.

“Can you…?” He rolls his left shoulder.

“Yeah, just let me know,” Sam says.

He slides his hands up Bucky’s back to his shoulder, his touch incredibly gentle on the tender scar tissue. He leaves soft, brushed kisses on his skin, reminding him that he is safe and loved.

“Better?” Sam asks, skirting his fingers around the seam of metal and skin.

Bucky hums drowsily. “Thanks.”

Sam kisses his cheek. “You’re welcome.”

That night, after everyone is patched up and fed, they all pile into the big bed together. Bucky wakes up during the night to find Bruce curled up against his back, face smooth and peaceful. He smiles and settles back down.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***warning for very vague flashbacks***

Steve thought he was good, past all the bad parts of recovery and coming out on the other side. He had Bucky back and six other people who loved him and he was helping people.

He was wrong.

It’s not until Memorial Day that Steve realizes just how far he still has to go.

He’s half out of his uniform after returning from a call up in Canada when fireworks explode outside.

He drops to the ground, leaping forward until he can scramble into his closet and pull the door shut. He stays down, curled up with his hands protecting the back of his neck, and his breathing is fast and shallow. He can still hear the explosions but they’re muffled now. Every part of him is shaking and his throat feels like it’s closing up, each breath harder than the last.

The wall in front of him turns brown and muddy and his skin feels wet with rain.

“Stevie?”

He knows it’s Bucky just by his voice and his smell but he flinches anyway. He can’t respond, frozen where he’s curled up against the wall. Bucky sits beside him, stroking his hair.

“Where are you, Stevie?”

Steve pulls in a quick breath, the terror still very much up front in his mind.

“I don’t know,” he forces out.

Bucky lays his hand on Steve’s chest, pressing firmly. “Can you feel me?”

Steve reaches up, curling his fingers over Bucky’s. He tries to focus on it, but he slips back into a muddy trench where he’s bandaging Monty’s leg. Gunfire is roaring over their heads and he’s so tired he can barely stay upright. Bucky is yelling some kind of order at the others and Gabe is cursing in French. His head is spinning.

“Just talk to him, touch him, try to bring him back.”

He sucks in a deep breath, Bucky’s cool metal hand cradling his cheek. He looks up at him, finally meeting his eyes, and Bucky smiles down at him.

“Hey, baby doll,” he croons, smoothing his hair back. “How do you feel?”

Steve licks his lips slowly. “Tired.”

“I’m sure you are. Do you want something to eat?”

He closes his eyes. “No. Thirsty.”

“All right, we’ll get you some water. Do you want to move to the bed?”

“Yeah.”

Bucky helps him up and steadies him as they make their way back into the bedroom. The lights are turned down low, the curtains pulled across the window, and pajamas are laid out on the bed. Steve sits heavily on the edge of the mattress, heart still racing in his chest. He moves mechanically as Bucky helps him out of the rest of his clothes and into a soft t-shirt and sleep pants.

“Do you need anything other than water, sweetheart?”

Steve shakes his head, and grasps Bucky’s t-shirt. “Don’t leave.”

“I’m not leaving.” He touches Steve’s wrist. “I’m going to text Sam.”

Steve watches him send the text and then watches him change into his own pajamas.

“Let’s lay down, alright?” Bucky climbs into bed beside Steve and strokes a hand down his back.

Steve nods, moving slowly as he sticks his feet under the covers. Every one of his muscles ache and he still feels like he might throw up. He curls against Bucky’s chest, tucking himself close like he did when he weighed a hundred pounds less. But Bucky just slips his right arm underneath their pillows and winds his left over Steve’s waist, sneaking it up under his t-shirt. The metal is cool against his skin but it warms quickly as he holds Steve tight, even tangling their legs together.

There is a knock on the door and Sam peeks in, smiling at them. “Hey, how’s it going?”

“We’re doing better,” Bucky says, kissing Steve on the forehead.

“That’s good to hear.” Sam sets a glass of water on the nightstand. “How do you feel, baby?”

“Tired,” Steve mumbles against Bucky’s collarbone.

“Get some rest,” Sam leans over Bucky to kiss Steve’s shoulder. “I love you.”

“Love you.”

A few minutes later, after Bucky has gotten Steve to drink the water and lie back down, the rest of the team asks to check on Steve and say goodnight. He smiles shakily at them, accepting each of their kisses and wishes for him to get a restful night’s sleep.

Natasha strokes Steve’s cheek before leaning down to kiss him lightly. She moves up brush her lips over his forehead and smile at him.

“I’ll make your favorite breakfast in the morning, but only if you go to sleep and rest, alright?”

Steve nods, closing his eyes as she kisses him again on the forehead just above his eyebrow.

“Goodnight, Bucky,” she says, bending down to kiss him.

He smiles fleetingly at her when she pulls away. “Night, Nat.”

Tony puts a knee on the mattress and leans over to kiss Steve firmly on the forehead, stroking his hair back.

“Close those pretty blue eyes of yours and dream of the face Bucky made when he accidentally ate all that wasabi, okay?”

Steve laughs, a scratchy sound that makes them all melt. Tony grins and kisses Steve softly on the mouth.

“I love you. And Bruce sends his love.”

Steve echoes him and his smile is more relaxed now. Thor leans down over him to rest his forehead on Steve’s and Steve closes his eyes.

“I hope you have peaceful dreams, my love. I love you more than than all of the stars in the sky,” Thor rumbles, his voice low and soothing.

Steve hums, smiling up at him when he pulls away to kiss the bridge of his nose.

“Sleep well, both of you,” he says, reaching over Steve to stroke Bucky’s hair back behind his ear and kiss his cheek. “Watch over him, James.”

Bucky smirks, rubbing his thumb over Steve’s hip. “I always do.”

Thor turns their light off before he leaves, and Steve curls back up against Bucky’s chest. He feels more relaxed, at peace. He dozes off quickly, comforted by his lovers and protected by his best friend.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> bucky's first attempt at sex with the rest of the group

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***sexual content***

Sam sits everyone down to talk about Bucky’s request and Bucky is delighted to see that everyone is eager and accepting. Steve gets a sappy look on his face and Bucky has to roll his eyes at him, leaning over to kiss him on the cheek.

“Let the man be emotional; he’s been waiting 70 years,” Clint jokes, ruffling Steve’s hair.

Bucky tries to start everything off slowly, just sitting in the room and watching them, but hearing Steve moan as Thor fucks him slow and languid against the headboard nearly ruins him. Natasha has Sam between her legs, her fingernails scratching at his hair as she pushes her hips up into his mouth. Clint is trapped between Tony and Bruce, gasping as Tony strokes him and Bruce mouths at his neck.

Bucky presses the heel of his hand to his erection, grateful for the layers of fabric in between.

They’re all gorgeous and sweaty, moaning and gasping names. Bucky wants so badly to be a part of it all.

He wants to feel all of them touching him like they’re touching each other, reverent and awed like they’re holding a precious gem. It makes his spine feel like rubber thinking about having their gazes turned on him, hungry but tinged with sweetness.

Steve’s laid out on the mattress now, boneless and shivering, as Thor leaves sloppy kisses on his back and keeps up a gentle rhythm. He could never last long even before the serum, but now if he comes too quickly, he can get hard again in less than two minutes.

Clint is keening loudly, obviously very close, but now Tony is inside him and Bruce has his fingers wrapped tight around the base of Clint’s erection. Tony is barely moving, just hitching his hips forward every now and then, and Clint makes a desperate sound. Bruce smiles and licks a broad stripe up his throat.

Sam is stretched out on his back, his hands up above his head, and Natasha has three fingers inside him. He’s flushed and glowing, head thrown back as he moans. When she pulls a harness and strap-on from under one of the pillows, Sam immediately gasps, spreading his legs wider as an invitation.

It’s hard to peel his eyes away so he doesn’t. His brain is warring with all the hormones flooding his system, telling him that it’s wrong, he shouldn’t feel like this. His heart says otherwise; this is good, this is what you want, you love them. He finally looks down, picking at his sweatpants. He chews on his fingernails, a nervous habit he never had before, and bounces his leg. It must be obvious that he’s struggling with organizing all the new information because someone pads over to him carefully.

Clint is wearing a pair of too-big boxers and he gives Bucky an easy smile.

“You okay?”

“I don’t know,” he answers.

“What are you feeling?” Clint asks, his tone is soft and Bucky doesn’t hesitate when he spills out everything.

Clint nods along. “Do you _want_ to feel like that?”

Sam lets out a whine, and Bucky looks over to see Steve kissing his neck as Natasha fucks him determinedly. He desperately wants to be over there with them.

“Yes.”

“Do you want to try something?” Clint asks him, and Bucky knows he can take back his next words at anytime.

He’s already trusted these people with so much of himself and he wants to take the next step.

Bucky takes Clint’s offered hand. “Yes.”

Clint smiles at him, dripping with desire and promise. Bucky can’t help the shiver that rolls down his spine.

He lets Clint lead him to the empty side of the bed and crawls up after him.

“Come here, baby,” he says, and Bucky finds that he likes the various pet names that come from his lovers’ mouths.

He goes easily onto Clint’s lap, accepting his soft, exploring kiss with an appreciative moan. Somehow he feels even harder than before when Clint finally releases him and moves onto his neck.

He doesn’t realize that his hips are moving until Clint cradles them in his hands and encourages him to keep going.

“That’s it, beautiful, just like that,” he murmurs, still leaving wet kisses on his neck.

Bucky rocks his hips down against Clint’s thigh where it’s pressed up between his legs. He can’t swallow his gasping moan before it spills out, but from the answering sounds across the bed he thinks it’s not unappreciated. His underwear and sweatpants cause just enough friction that he can keep his head but still enjoy himself. His t-shirt sticks to his chest and back with sweat, but the touch is good at keeping him focused. Clint makes low growling noises against his throat and his fingers dig a little tighter into his hip. His other hand slides up to settle in the middle of his back, a grounding weight that keeps him there in the moment.

“Are you close, baby?”

Bucky whimpers before he can tamp it down, but Clint hums like he’s pleased, leaving wet kisses on his pulse point. His orgasm sneaks up on him and he buries his surprised, almost sobbing cry in Clint’s shoulder.

For a moment, he’s absolutely mortified, but Clint is stroking loose pieces of hair back from his face and his arms are lax around him so he can leave if he wants. He feels safe tucked against Clint’s chest so he decides to stay.

He kisses Clint softly, just a chaste kiss that makes him go warm all over.

No one is paying them any attention so it’s easier for Bucky to follow Clint off the bed and into the bathroom. Clint wets a washcloth with warm water and gives Bucky his privacy without him having to ask. He opens the door just slightly and sticks a new pair of sweatpants and underwear through.

“Thank you,” Bucky says, soft but sincere.

Clint laughs quietly from the other side of the door. “You’re welcome.”

When he emerges, Clint is wearing his own pajama pants and sitting on the edge of the bed. The sheets have been changed and the rest of them are changing clothes and collapsing on the mattress. Bucky goes straight for Clint and they settle down to rest, Clint’s hand sliding carefully up the back of Bucky’s shirt. When he doesn’t object, Clint starts rubbing his back lightly, effectively putting him into a doze.

He wakes gradually, muscles loose and warm, and the bed is empty. Clint is still there, holding him close.

“Everyone is out in the living room with dinner. I didn’t have the heart to wake you up though,” he says, lips touching lightly to Bucky’s forehead.

Bucky yawns. “S’okay. What’d they get?”

“Pizza,” Clint answers. “They made sure to get a plain cheese one.”

He’s sleepy, but he’s also starving. Everyone will probably want to know how he did, and he doesn’t think he’s too scared to talk about it. But he noses underneath Clint’s chin, breathing slow and easy. He doesn’t think he’s been this content since before going off to war. Clint settles a hand on his waist and kisses him on his forehead.

When they finally roll out of bed, Clint smoothes Bucky’s hair down and smiles at him, kissing him softly on the nose. Bucky can’t help but smile back, closing his eyes.

Everyone is still eating when they get to the living room, and Steve looks up eagerly when he hears them. Bucky drains an entire water bottle before he starts in on his pizza, still tucked close to Clint’s side. He doesn’t seem to mind if the way he wraps an arm around him and eats with one hand is any indication.

Once they have all had their fill of pizza and gotten comfortable, Sam breaks the silence gently.

“Were you okay, Bucky?”

A few of them glance at him but they know not to stare or he will clam up immediately. Clint strokes his thumb over his hip, reminding him he’s safe.

“Yeah, it was good. I liked it,” he answers, and his cheeks turn pink.

Sam smiles, and out of the corner of his eye Bucky can see Steve pointedly looking at his lap, grinning.

“That’s great, I’m glad you enjoyed yourself.”

Bucky curls his legs up underneath him and leans into Clint, who smiles and kisses him on the head.

…

His joy is short-lived.

Bucky can feel the restraints close over his arms, holding him tight against the chair. He sees the electrodes closing in over his eye and feels the tiny jolts before it settles in tight.

He wakes up screaming.

He’s trapped between Clint and Thor, who tries to soothe him, but his throat is closing up and he has to get out. Someone throws the sheets away and he bolts, collapsing on the bathroom floor as he vomits into the toilet.

He can’t hear much over the roaring in his ears, but he shudders when someone touches him on the back.

“Please, don’t,” is all he can get out, sounding more pathetic than he wants.

The hand is removed as his stomach forces up nothing but acid. He gags and spits it out, sucking in hard breaths of air.

“Here, sweetheart.” A cloth is placed in front of his face and he takes it, pressing it to his forehead.

“Can I pull your hair back?”

He nods, and they comb their hands through his hair to pull it back into an elastic. He’s shivering, feeling like he’s on fire but his skin is cold and clammy. He slides over to rest against the wall, still breathing hard.

Then he realizes he’s crying.

“Shhhh, you’re all right.”

Someone sits down beside him a good distance away so he doesn’t feel crowded. It’s a while before he can breathe regularly, and then he just feels hollow. He glances over and Clint is sitting there, a glass of water on the floor by his foot.

“Don’t drink it or you’ll just throw it back up. Rinse your mouth and spit it out,” he says, and Bucky does as he’s told.

“Do you feel any better?” Clint asks him.

Flashes of his dream linger and his breath hitches; he puts his face in his hands.

“No.”

“Do you want to go back to bed?”

His entire body aches and he’s exhausted. But he doesn’t have the energy to do anything else so he nods.

Clint offers his hands and Bucky uses them to climb to his feet. He brushes his teeth on autopilot and tries not to think as he washes his face. When he reemerges, the bed is empty and his stomach drops hard.

“We didn’t know if you would prefer to sleep with fewer people in the bed,” Clint starts off, and Bucky can’t hold back his words.

“I need everyone, I can’t—I don’t want to be alone. I need—”

He’s crying again, and Clint’s face softens.

“They’ll come back. Most of them just went to get drinks or go to the bathroom. They just wanted you to choose.”

He wants to be held, but the thought of it makes his skin crawl. He sinks down onto the bed and curls up miserably. Slowly, everyone trickles back in and he relaxes as each one of them climbs back into bed around him. Steve leans down near him, eyes warm and already soothing Bucky’s frayed nerves.

“Hey, Buck,” he says, all soft and quiet. “Who do you want sleeping next to you?”

“You and Clint,” he answers, and adds, “Sam nearby.”

Steve smiles. “You got it.”

He can already breathe easier when Steve spoons up behind him, his movements slow to allow him the time to decide if he’s comfortable, and their bodies are pressed together from head to toe. Clint settles down in front of him and smiles softly.

“Hey there, beautiful,” he murmurs, and Bucky feels his cheeks flush.

Sam lays behind Steve, reaching over his waist to touch Bucky’s arm. His hand is warm and soft and his touch releases the last knot of fear tied up in his chest.

Everyone finds their spots, calling out goodnights to each other. Steve is kissing his neck and behind his ear, the spot that he knows for a fact would make him melt before he fell. It still works now, and he sighs quietly, eyes slipping closed as Steve hums a song he can’t name but it dredges up old memories of a tiny apartment in Brooklyn and he smiles.


	7. Chapter 7

The party isn’t even big, but Tony says something about limited clothing options and conspicuously leaves one of his credit cards on Steve’s nightstand so they take the hint. Sam and Natasha are thrilled to finally get Steve into something other than jeans and t-shirts and Bucky into something other than sweatpants or his uniform.

They go to a nice place with off-the-rack suits available as well as custom-made options. Bucky gets that panicked, embarrassed look on his face that says he is overwhelmed so Sam takes him back to the changing rooms. They stand in one of the rooms with Bucky tucked up against Sam’s chest until he can breathe easily and his cheeks aren’t so red. Sam kisses him on the forehead, down his nose, and then his smile. Bucky presses closer, hiding his grin against Sam’s neck.

When they emerge, Natasha and Steve have picked things for all three of the men. Bucky looks at the items they chose for him and touches the suspenders.

“Just like the ones I had before,” he murmurs, and Steve kisses his cheek.

“Exactly like them. Try everything on, I had to guess your size.”

As usual, Steve is spot on with the sizing. The pants are light and comfortable and the shirt is soft. He accounted for all of Bucky’s new idiosyncrasies when it comes to clothing and Bucky immediately kisses him when he emerges from the dressing room. Steve laughs and wraps his arm around Bucky’s waist.

“Let me look at you,” he says, easing Bucky away but keeping his hands on his hips. “You’re gorgeous, Buck.”

Bucky knows his cheeks turn pink but he just reaches up to touch Steve’s tie.

“You’re not so bad yourself,” he quips, and Steve grins.

“Hey, love birds, why don’t you check out your other third,” Natasha calls out to them.

They turn to find Sam wearing a white shirt with the collar open, exposing the hollow of his throat, tucked into a pair of navy blue pants and grey suspenders. Bucky swallows against the lump in his throat.

“We may need to take them home before they do something that gets us thrown out,” Sam stage-whispers to Natasha, who laughs into her hand.

Steve tries on a few different outfits before he finds the one he likes. The other three answer with a unanimous, enthusiastic yes.

…

The party is supposed to be nice and relaxed and mostly an excuse for all of them to stare at their lovers in fancy clothes.

Bucky fixes his shirt every few seconds, fidgeting with the sleeve rolled up to expose his metal arm.

“You look great, sweetheart, don’t look so terrified,” Natasha says, smoothing his collar. “It’s the same exact people that you see naked every single day. They’re still a bunch of dorks.”

Bucky smiles at that, and he lets Natasha pull his hair back into a ponytail, pinning up the loose pieces.

He thinks he doesn’t look too bad, but his self-confidence isn’t exactly what it used to be. He’s working on that.

When he and Natasha make it up to the party, he’s glad they don’t all turn to stare at him. He takes a moment to look around at the rest of them, feeling a little more relaxed as he listens to them laugh and exchange affection

Tony has on a nice black suit and a dark red shirt. Bruce is wearing black pants and a light blue shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. Clint chose a grey suit with a purple shirt that matches Natasha’s cocktail dress. Thor looks otherworldly in a set of dark blue robes he brought back from Asgard, his hair pulled back in a braid Natasha did for him.

Bucky’s outfit is simple—dark grey pants, a white shirt, and red suspenders—but everyone seems to like it. Bruce comes over to him first, slipping his arm around his waist lightly, and Bucky actually finds himself leaning into his touch.

“You look very nice,” he says, and Bucky smiles.

“Thank you.”

Bruce kisses his cheek.

Steve comes up the stairs, strikingly handsome in a burgundy suit and white shirt. Sam is beside him in his blue pants, white shirt, and grey suspenders. The conversations dwindle as they all turn to look and Steve turns pink while Sam just laughs at him. Steve brightens when he spots Bucky.

“You got up here before me,” he chides jokingly, leaning in to kiss him softly.

“You were taking too long,” Bucky throws back, the last of his nerves finally settled.

“That blue looks great on you, Bruce,” Steve says.

“Thank you.” Bruce smiles, and Bucky feels warmth spread through his chest.

They join the rest of the group and Bucky laughs when Tony calls Steve “hot stuff.” There’s delicious food and Clint gets behind the bar to make them increasingly wild mixed drinks. Bucky has come to hate the taste of alcohol and since it has no effect on him he sticks with Coke—his favorite since childhood.

Natasha and Tony sit on one of the couches, chatting and stealing food from each other’s plates. Natasha kisses a drop of Tony’s drink off his lips and he grins at her.

Clint and Sam are laughing about something, but then Clint takes Sam’s drink and sets it down.

“Dance with me,” he says, and Sam laughs again.

“I was trained in the military not the ballet,” Sam protests, but Clint doesn’t listen.

“Shut up, you’ll learn fast.”

Clint leads him in some kind of fast dance that Sam does pick up quickly, but they still trip over each other and end up in fits of laughter. Steve goes over and starts showing them pieces of the lindy hop, throwing his head back when Sam falls on his ass.

Thor is listening to Bucky tell a story about him and Steve, but both of their interests are piqued by all the joyful sounds.

“Would you like to dance?” He asks, stroking his thumb over Bucky’s metal knuckles.

Bucky regards the dancers warily. “No, I don’t think so.”

“Oh, come on,” Thor growls playfully, bending down to scoop Bucky up and twirl him around.

Bucky doesn’t hold back the peals of laughter that escape and the whole atmosphere changes. Everyone is moving to where Steve is flipping Clint over his back and Sam is just grinning at them. Natasha takes Sam’s hand and he spins her under his arm.

Tony coaxes Bruce into a subdued sort of dance, but he slowly loosens up so that when Tony dips him he just hangs his head back and laughs.

Thor follows Bucky up to the rest of them and takes his hands, following Bucky’s lead in a fun, nonsense kind of dance. He leans in to kiss him when Bucky comes close enough and Bucky grins against his lips.

Bucky moves between Thor and Steve, going right into a flawless lindy hop that comes back to him almost instantly. Steve looks thrilled, leading Bucky like they practiced so many times in their apartment. They move together like they were made for one another, smooth and easy movements that need barely a thought.

Everyone stops to watch them, how relaxed Bucky seems and how genuine Steve’s smile looks. They bring out something in each other that no other human being could ever hope for.

When they finally finish, Steve is panting and his grin is huge. Bucky is crying, but he’s also smiling.

“I’m sorry, I just…”

“Shhh, it’s all right.” Steve wipes his eyes with his thumbs. “You’re not upset or hurt, are you?”

Bucky shakes his head. “No, nothing like that. Just—” he makes a noise caught between a sob and a laugh “—when I was dancing with you, I felt like me again. I felt like I was myself.”

Steve’s breath catches in his throat and his smile is shaky. But he wraps his arms around Bucky’s waist and holds him close and Bucky just buries his face in Steve’s shoulder. They hold each other tightly for a long moment, Bucky’s shoulder shaking.

Steve pulls away only slightly, cupping his hand around Bucky’s cheek and kissing the other.

“I love you,” Steve murmurs, his eyelashes wet but no tears falling. “I’ve always loved you, and you’ll always have my heart.”

Bucky sobs, cradling Steve’s jaw as he kisses him softly. He leans back to wipe his eyes and laugh at himself, looking back at the rest of their lovers.

Thor pushes the tears from his eyes, smiling at Bucky. Sam doesn’t draw attention to the tears collecting on his lashes, nodding at them with a smile. Clint sniffles very obviously, rubbing his eyes.

Natasha draws closer and strokes Bucky’s cheek, reaching up to do the same to Steve. Very quickly it turns into a puppy pile and Bucky laughs when Sam wraps his arms around him from behind. Thor loops his arm around Steve’s waist, kissing him gently, and Steve relaxes into his embrace. Tony uses Bucky’s suspenders to pull him in for a kiss and Bucky smiles against his lips, trying to kiss him back.

They keep the party going for a little while longer, but then it’s obvious that everyone is getting tired. Heading down to their shared floor, Bucky holds onto Steve’s hand, his metal fingers tangled with Steve’s human ones. They all help each other undress, except for Thor because Clint eventually gives up trying to find how to undo his robes. Thor laughs and kisses him, starting on his shirt buttons.

When they finally climb into bed, Bucky ends up tucked between Natasha and Steve, drowsy and content.

He doesn’t dream at all that night.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***this chapter contains sexual content***

Bucky enjoys learning how to like sex again. He feels like a teenager, building the courage to move further each time with his partner (and coming in his pants, except now it’s less embarrassing), but this time he’s got seven incredibly hot superheroes drooling at the chance to get their hands on him.

He keeps most of his clothes on and everyone respects that, never pushing or pulling on them to get them out of the way. They’ll press kisses to his shoulders through his t-shirts and rub his thighs through sweatpants as if it’s his skin.

Bucky knows Steve wants to be with him more than anything, but he’s very patient and doesn’t press the issue. He smiles whenever he sees Bucky with one of the others and tells him what makes each one of them tick.

Sam is the first one to see him naked. Everyone else is off on a mission and Sam is healing a bruised rib, but he’s more than happy to lay back and let Bucky do all the work.

Bucky is getting more comfortable giving pleasure back to his partners so he pulls Sam’s pants off and relishes in his surprised moan when he wraps his hand around him.

“You’re so good to me,” Sam teases, his legs falling open and hips twitching up.

Bucky grins, leaning in to kiss him softly. He settles over Sam’s thigh, grinding down against the strong muscle, and swallows down Sam’s pleased sigh. He’s drowning in the heady scent of Sam’s warmth and his encouraging noises, desperate to be closer to him.

“Hold on,” he says, his voice rough.

Sam watches him curiously as he squirms out of his sweatpants and peels off his t-shirt. He keeps his boxer briefs on, crawling back over Sam’s leg to settle back down.

He gasps, all the breath pulled from his lungs, and Sam smiles, leaning up to kiss his collarbone.

“Mmm, you’re gorgeous,” he murmurs against Bucky’s skin.

Bucky picks back up where he left off, stroking Sam tight like he loves.

“Can I touch you?” Sam asks, and Bucky nods furiously.

The first touch of his hand on his hip makes Bucky whimper. Sam rests his hand lightly on the small of his back and Bucky’s entire body reacts to the contact. The warmth settled low in his belly sharpens and he moans, trying to hold off his orgasm.

“Come on, sweetheart, don’t hold back,” Sam croons, somehow completely unfazed by Bucky’s hand still stroking him. “Let me hear you.”

He presses his fingers into the muscle of his backside and Bucky’s hips jump against his leg, dragging just right so he can’t hold back any longer. He shivers as he comes, mouth open as he moans softly. He buries his face in Sam’s neck, licking and kissing at his pulse as he renews his steady rhythm. He shudders when his softening erection nudges against Sam’s hip.

Sam tilts his head back and gasps, his hips rolling up into Bucky’s hand. He goes tense under Bucky as he comes, letting out little gasps with each wave that crashes over him. He smoothes his hand over Bucky’s back, tracing along the waistband of his underwear as he relaxes.

“You wanna take these off?” He asks, a genuine question that Bucky is welcome to decline.

But Sam is looking at him like he’s something precious and loved. He feels safe with him.

So Bucky eases his sticky underwear off and uses them to clean off Sam’s stomach. He’s unsure of what to do next until Sam moves stiffly to get under the sheets. Bucky follows suit and wriggles closer when Sam reaches for him.

“Are you comfortable? You can put on your sweats if you want,” he offers, but Bucky shakes his head.

“I’m good.”

He focuses on Sam’s warm skin pressed against his, smelling like sweat and soap and something distinctly his own. Bucky noses against his pulse, kissing his neck. He likes this, being as close to someone as possible, but he’ll work slowly to do that with the rest of them.


	9. Chapter 9

Steve and Sam found all of HYDRA’s footage of The Winter Soldier while they were crisscrossing the world looking for Bucky. Sam refused to allow Steve to watch it— _he_ didn’t even watch it—so they had JARVIS sort through the innumerable videos and pick out the pieces he thought were most important for them to know about.

The worst of the footage consisted of HYDRA’s treatment of Bucky. Steve could barely watch the videos of them wiping Bucky’s memory, stealing away all their jokes and the cold nights Bucky made sure Steve was warm. He thought it couldn’t get worse but the old, grainy images of the early days just after Bucky was captured were the last straw. He couldn’t leave one HYDRA sympathizer on this planet.

When Bucky returned, he wasn’t in as bad of shape as they expected. He was injured and scared, but he remembered Steve and he recognized Sam and he even smiled fleetingly when Steve called him “Buck.”

Steve made sure Tony knew about the contraption that Bucky had been forced into to make sure he never remembered anything and he was sympathetic.

Every time Bucky has his arm worked on, someone is always with him to keep him occupied and distracted. Usually it’s Sam or Steve, but occasionally Natasha will sit with him and tell him embarrassing stories about Clint.

But Sam, Steve, and Natasha are away on a mission when Bucky’s arm needs emergency work. There’s a catch in his shoulder that causes more strain on his muscles and he’s been practically bed ridden for the past two days from pain. Tony wraps him up in a blanket from the bed and walks with him down to the elevator, keeping him close the whole time.

“I’ve got pain meds in the lab,” he says, kissing Bucky on the temple. “I don’t want you hurting.”

After a few disastrous attempts to work on his arm, they figured out that if Bucky is laid up in a recliner he’s considerably more relaxed. Now a soft overstuffed recliner resides in the lab next to the big window looking out over the city and Tony has moved all the supplies for their sessions to that side of the room.

Bruce is moving around, bent over papers and scribbling stuff with a pencil, but he looks up when they enter. He smiles at Bucky, warm and comforting, and it soothes his nerves somewhat. They get him settled in the chair with his blanket and a drink and Bruce carefully sets up an IV of pain medication for him. Once it starts kicking in, Bucky can hardly keep his eyes open.

“Hey, Buck,” Tony says softly, tucking Bucky’s hair behind his ear.

“Mmm?” Bucky looks over at him.

“Do you want to sleep a while before I start?”

His breathing is slow and even and he’s warm. He wouldn’t even care if a bomb went off in the Tower.

At his non-response, Tony smiles and leans up to kiss his forehead. “Go to sleep, baby. We have all day.”

Bucky smiles drowsily and sinks down into his blanket. Listening to Bruce and Tony chatter on about various experiments and new Iron Man suits lulls him to sleep quickly.

…

He wakes up to someone kissing him on the forehead and stroking his hair. He takes his time waking up and coming back to consciousness—something he never had the luxury to do before. When he opens his eyes, the window is tinted so the sunlight doesn’t stream in so brightly and Tony is sitting beside his head, smiling at him.

“Good morning, sunshine.”

Bucky blinks slowly and yawns.

“How do you feel?” Tony asks, laying his hand gently on Bucky’s metal wrist.

“Better,” is all he can come up with.

“All right then. Do you want me to get started?”

Bucky nods, closing his eyes.

“I’m gonna turn off the nerves so you’re not in any more pain, but it’ll be a dead weight so bear with me,” Tony explains. “One, two…”

His arm sinks heavily into the arm of the chair and he whimpers despite himself.

“Lean towards me a little and it should take some of the strain off your shoulder.”

He shifts until he’s comfortable again and the metal arm isn’t making his entire upper body protest. The pain medication helps immensely and he actually drifts in and out as Tony works, his stream of mumbling a comforting background noise.

The sound of electricity sparking sends him catapulting out of the chair.

He doesn’t lash out, but he slides over the top of a table, cleaning it off completely, before he finds a corner of the lab his hazy mind deems safe. He hunkers down behind a piece of equipment, boxed in against the wall, and his breathing is hard and fast in his ears. His head is spinning and trying to organize all the new information. He hears a bunch of muttering and shuffling around from his hiding spot. He cringes when someone peeks around at him, but their voice dredges up feelings of safety and love and comfort. He looks up hesitantly.

“Hey, sweetheart,” Tony says, his voice soft. “Do you know where you are?”

Bucky nods once.

“That’s good. Why don’t you come back and calm down and we’ll fix you up,” Tony says, carefully moving the object out of his way.

All the pain rushes back at once, his metal arm a heavy weight resting limp in his lap, and he gasps, tears welling up in his eyes.

“Come on, baby, we’ll keep you safe. You’re not in danger.”

Tony helps him up, supporting his metal arm, and guides him back to the chair. He settles down slowly and Tony places his arm on the armrest before retrieving the blanket he threw on the floor in his haste to escape.

“Bruce, can we get some help?”

Bucky looks at him, confused, but then Bruce is coming over and he sees that he’s ripped his IV out. Bruce cleans his hand gently and tapes gauze over the wound before restarting the IV on the inside of Bucky’s forearm.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbles, his brain still foggy with sleep and medication and adrenaline.

Bruce tapes down the IV and smoothes Bucky’s hair. “There’s nothing to be sorry for. I should the one apologizing. I need to be more careful next time when I’m working around you.”

Bucky smiles feebly. “Thank you.”

Bruce returns his smile and leans down to kiss him softly on the forehead. “You’re welcome.”

He touches Tony on the back as he passes by him on his way back to his work table, and Bucky looks over to find Tony waiting patiently.

“We’ll start back up in a minute,” he says, rearranging his tools on his table. “I just want you to relax for now.”

“When are Steve and Sam and Nat coming home?” Bucky asks, already feeling groggy from the pain meds.

“Tomorrow, I think. We can send them a message if you want; ask how everything is going.” Tony looks over at him.

“Yeah,” he says, slurred and tired.

“You all right?”

Bucky looks up at him, his brown eyes warm and kind. “Mmhm.”

“You want me to keep going?” He asks, and Bucky nods, comforted by the fact that Tony waits for his consent before working on his arm every single time they stop.

He leans back in his chair slightly to watch Tony work, but he starts to doze quickly and he doesn’t fight it because he knows he’s in good hands.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> there is sexual content in this chapter

Natasha and Clint coax Bucky out of the kitchen to join them in the big bedroom while the rest of the team is dispersed on different missions. He thinks they may be offering him an opportunity for sex and he actually feels excited at the thought.

“We thought you might like a little practice without a big audience,” Natasha explains, after they finally admit they were trying to get him into bed.

Bucky starts off in just his underwear, even more comfortable than his previous encounters. He watches Clint and Natasha strip down, surprised at how just seeing his lovers undress makes him harder.

“You don’t have to do anything you’re uncomfortable with,” Clint says, climbing on the bed.

Bucky’s breath catches in his throat watching Clint crawl toward him and he feels a warm ache start in his groin. He almost wants to ask Clint to make love to him, but the thought also makes his chest seize up with something very different than eager arousal.

“Do you want to be on top?” He asks. “We can always switch.”

“I’ll stay like this for now,” Bucky manages to say, and Clint grins at him.

“That’s my boy.” He leans down and kisses him, lips soft and warm and comforting.

He whimpers into Clint’s mouth when he presses their hips together, tucking his knees against Clint’s ribs. Clint gasps suddenly, his hips snapping forward, and Bucky makes a surprised sound.

“Nat likes to go straight for the prize,” he laughs breathlessly, then he shivers.

He spreads his knees slightly and returns to rocking his hips, sliding his erection against Bucky’s. One of his hands tangles in Bucky’s hair, tilting his head back to bare his throat.

Clint mumbles against his skin, “Where’s that—”

Bucky gasps, his back arching gently off the mattress, when Clint finds the spot under his jaw that makes sparks rocket down his spine. He laughs softly against Bucky’s neck, nibbling and sucking there until a bruise blossoms and Bucky is trembling.

“Look at you,” Clint whispers, his voice smooth and reverent. “You’re gorgeous, baby. You’re doing so well.”

The praise makes Bucky flush pink but he doesn’t shy away from it anymore. He leans up to leave a bitten kiss on Clint’s shoulder, soothing it with his tongue as Clint groans deeply against his chest.

“Nat, _please_ ,” he begs, wrecked and desperate.

He makes a noise that turns into a sharp gasp, but he’s smiling when he picks his head up. He hums pleasantly against Bucky’s ear, kissing his cheek.

“Can I touch you?” Clint asks.

Bucky nods because he doesn’t trust his voice anymore, not when Nat is fucking into Clint so each roll of his hips is more intense than the last. Clint slips a hand down between them and covers Bucky’s erection, palming him gently.

That gets a sweet little whine out of him and Bucky pushes up into his hand.

Clint kisses him on the corner of his mouth. “Do you think you’d like it if I sucked you off?”

Bucky shivers at the idea, his stomach knotted up in aroused anxiety.

“Um, yes? Maybe just,” he searches for the correct words, “slowly. Don’t take my—um—”

“You tell me what to do, okay? You guide me where you want me. How does that sound?”

Bucky nods, the knot loosening.

Clint grins down at him, surging forward to kiss him softly.

“You don’t have to talk. Just move me around, okay?”

Bucky nods. Clint understands that sometimes his voice isn’t his most reliable form of communication. He grins up at Bucky from his crotch and leans down to press soft, open-mouthed kisses to Bucky’s thigh.

He goes easily when Bucky guides him toward his erection. The cotton of his underwear turns dark as Clint mouths and sucks through the fabric. It’s one of the best sensations Bucky has encountered so far. He wonders what it would be like to have Steve do this to him. He gasps, hips pushing up against Clint’s face.

Clint laughs and goes back to suckling gently at his balls through his underwear. Bucky whines, every muscle tense and quivering. Each spot where Clint’s fingers press gently into his hips feels like a spark and he feels hyperaware of every point of contact.

“Wait,” he gasps out, and Clint pulls back immediately.

Even Natasha stops moving where she was fucking Clint into the mattress.

“What’s wrong, baby?” Clint asks, his voice gentle and calm.

“I need a second,” he says, and Clint smiles.

“Alright, just let me know.”

Bucky nods, watching interestedly as Natasha starts back up, moving slowly but still reducing Clint to shivering, breathless moans. He can hear the lube she used making soft, wet sounds as she pulls out and pushes back in. Clint has sweat dampening the hair at his temples and his hair sticks up when Natasha runs her fingers through it to grasp it gently. When she tightens them slightly, Clint makes a sweet noise between a gasp and a cry. Bucky can’t help the way his hips twitch when he hears it.

“Um—”

“Ready for more?” Clint asks before he can even formulate the words he wants to say.

He nods and Clint grins at him. Natasha pushes his head down, relinquishing control over to Bucky. She guides his right hand into Clint’s hair, curling her fingers over his.

“You won’t be hurting him, and you can move him if you need to, okay?”

“Okay.”

Natasha’s smile is gentle compared to how she drives her hips forward into Clint until he whimpers. Bucky tightens his fingers when Clint tries to duck his head so he goes still. He wriggles out of his underwear, dropping them off the side of the bed, and tries to fight down the blush that’s crawling down his neck.

Clint stays perfectly still, waiting for Bucky to move him. The first touch of his lips to Bucky’s erection has him gripping the sheets with his left hand. He whines low in his throat, sounding desperate. Clint moves slowly, giving Bucky time to decide if that’s what he wants. But when Clint gently noses his balls and takes one into his mouth, Bucky can’t bring himself to move him. His whole body feels like a livewire, sparking with every touch of Clint’s tongue.

When Clint swallows him down to the base, Bucky nearly comes off the bed completely. He’s panting and whimpering and squirming but keeps his fingers tight in Clint’s hair. He lets Clint do as he wants, just watches him as he works determinedly. The tight, urgent feeling he’s becoming more accustomed to has settled at the base of his spine and his noises turn more eager. He moans softly, the sound breaking as he whimpers and gasps. Clint drags his tongue across the underside of the head and Bucky arches his back, his entire body going still as he comes in Clint’s mouth.

His chest heaves as he struggles to breathe normally again, muscles shivering as he comes back to himself. Clint swallowed everything Bucky gave and gently released him as he began to soften, now focusing on the way Natasha is driving her hips forward. Bucky slips his fingers back into Clint’s hair, guiding him to his thigh where he lets him rest his cheek.

As he’s stroking the pads of his fingertips over Clint’s scalp, Natasha gets his attention.

She nods at Clint and mouths at him: _Good boy._

Bucky looks down at Clint where he’s panting against Bucky’s leg, his legs spread wide to allow Natasha’s relentless thrusts. He goes back to smoothing Clint’s hair, brushing his thumb against his temple.

“Good boy,” he murmurs appreciatively, so low he wonders if Clint even heard him.

But Clint gasps and seizes up, his eyes squeezing shut and his mouth falling open. Natasha catches his release in her hand so it doesn’t mess up the sheets. After he’s calmed somewhat, she eases out of him and Bucky strokes his thumb over the line that forms between his eyebrows.

When Natasha returns from the bathroom, she’s no longer wearing the harness and Clint is pushing himself up onto shaking arms.

“Hey, relax,” Bucky says, guiding Clint to lay beside him.

He looks at Natasha. “Can I—um—help?”

Her green eyes widen slightly. “Yeah, if you really want to.”

He gives her a shy smile and she grins at him. She climbs up in bed and lays beside Clint. Bucky sits on his haunches between her legs, watching Clint nuzzle his head into the crook of her neck.

She takes two of his fingers easily and he breathes out a soft, “ _Oh._ ”

Both Natasha and Clint encourage him, giving him tips or suggestions. Soon he has Natasha whimpering and rocking into his hand, and he feels a unique sense of pride. When she comes, clenching around his fingers as he rubs her clit with his thumb, he can’t keep the smile off his face.

“That was great, Bucky. You did so well,” she praises, and he feels himself blush all the way down his neck.

“Come here, you,” Clint says, making a space for him between them.

He snuggles up between them and it only takes a few minutes for him to let the drowsiness pull him under.


	11. Chapter 11

There’s a deafening thunderstorm howling outside and Bucky can’t seem to shake off the anxiety piling on his chest. He’s in bed alone, his ghosts are unusually active and invading his thoughts, and the wind outside reminds him too much of the air rushing past his ears when he fell. He knows the only other person in the Tower is Bruce, but he also knows Bruce would do anything in the world for him—he’s told Bucky as much.

Bruce’s door is open, but his room is empty. Bucky feels hysterical tears welling up as he turns to slink back to his own bed.

“Bucky?”

Bruce is standing at the end of the hallway near the kitchen, a mug in his hand. He sets it down and walks toward Bucky quickly.

“What’s wrong?” He sounds kind and concerned and it makes Bucky want to curl up against him.

Bucky crosses his arms over his stomach unconsciously. “Nothing. I’m just going back to bed.”

“Hey, you don’t have to sleep by yourself if you don’t want to. You’re more than welcome to sleep with me tonight.”

The offer and his warm brown eyes break down all of Bucky’s defenses.

“Please,” is all he can manage.

Bruce touches his back lightly. “Come on, let’s get you in bed.”

With Bucky climbing under the sheets, Bruce leans over the side of the bed.

“I’m going to run back to the kitchen, but I’ll be back in two minutes, okay?”

Bucky nods before he knows what he’s doing, but then Bruce is pressing a kiss to his forehead and he’s not so scared. There’s a little machine sitting on the side table beside him emitting a soft white noise and it helps drown out the wind and thunder.

Bruce pads back into the room, two mugs in his hands now, and sits them on the nightstand.

“I’ve never liked sleeping in complete silence, but it also blocks the sound I don’t want to hear,” he explains, settling down on the bed. “You like it?”

“Yeah, I do. It’s…comforting.”

“I’ll get you one to keep in your room,” Bruce says, reaching back to the nightstand for the mugs. “I made you tea if you’d like to drink it.”

Bucky nods and smiles gratefully. “Thank you.”

They sit quietly and sip from their mugs. Bucky notices the tight feeling in his chest has dissipated and has been replaced with something soothing and warm. His eyelids feel heavy and his muscles relaxed. Bruce takes his cup when it’s empty, setting it on the nightstand.

“Let’s lie down,” Bruce suggests gently, always making Bucky feel like he is part of the decision.

The rain has lightened considerably, now just a patter against the windows that isn’t so nerve-wracking. Bucky doesn’t realize he’s dozed off until he jerks awake seconds later.

“You’re okay.”

Bruce doesn’t do anything except hold his hand and Bucky relaxes quicker because of it. He focuses on Bruce’s thumb rubbing over his knuckles, essentially smoothing the terror out of his system. His breathing returns to normal after only a few moments and he carefully moves closer to Bruce.

He lifts his arm as an invitation and Bucky goes gratefully. He feels even better with Bruce’s arm wrapped around his waist, his hand smoothing up and down his back.

“I love you,” he murmurs, his lips almost pressed to Bruce’s collarbone.

He feels a soft kiss to the top of his head. “I love you too. Try to sleep.”

It’s much easier to fall sleep again when he’s feeling protected. He listens to the quiet rain and Bruce’s heartbeat, drifting easily when he knows he’s safe and loved.


End file.
